Passion and the Pursuit of Meaning

What are you passionate about?

What means the most to you?

What makes you happy?

What drives you to search more and harder and longer for an answer to your question?

What is the meaning behind it all?

Is there some main theme that we can all be a part of?

Is there some main thought framework that weaves itself into the fabric of our lives, that we can then hang on?

If we run out of logic, will life still go on?

What is the most important thing?

How do we set our priorities?

More questions than answers.

In Man's Search for Meaning, Victor Frankl shows that while meaning might change, man's search for it remains the same.

Now I must work at doing something worthwhile.

I must search for meaning.

I must work toward our shared meaning and worthwhile work.

Passion and the Pursuit of Meaning

What are you passionate about?

What means the most to you?

What makes you happy?

What drives you to search more and harder and longer for an answer to your question?

What is the meaning behind it all?

Is there some main theme that we can all be a part of?

Is there some main thought framework that weaves itself into the fabric of our lives, that we can then hang on?

If we run out of logic, will life still go on?

What is the most important thing?

How do we set our priorities?

More questions than answers.

In Man's Search for Meaning, Victor Frankl shows that while meaning might change, man's search for it remains the same.

Now I must work at doing something worthwhile.

I must search for meaning.

I must work toward our shared meaning and worthwhile work.

Change, Positivity, Goals

I need to change my outlook and my mindset.

I can do what I put my mind to.

Don't be afraid.

There are so many dreams to remember. 

I am wasting my time doing nothing. I am wasting my time on this writing. I am not creating or learning anything.

So what should I do?

I have plenty to give and use up, but at the same time I really don't have much to share around. Energy that is. I guess.

I don't know what to do.

Take action. Make action. Take and make action.  And run with it from there.

Give it a shot I guess. Accentuate the positive.

---

So much negativity being shone down on how I am living and moving through my life.

I want to change that negativity into positivity.

Apparently positivity is not a word.

---

Trying just to write what needs to be written in the time that I have.

The morning pages today were not written in the morning, but they were written. They weren't all written longhand (though some were), but in the end, the words were written, and the thoughts were processed, and that was/is the main goal.

What I want to do with my writing is express that what I am thinking about and learning is important.

I am reading The Writing Diet, and it is interesting, but basically a rehashing of The Artist's Way in many ways.

But that is okay. I shall not judge.

There are many ways in which I would like to be able to be more myself in every single way and every single trial and opportunity.

How can I be more myself?

Allow myself to be.

Allow myself to act.

I have stifled myself for quite some time and it is no longer working to keep my mind at bay.

"I am freaking out in my mind." - Car Seat Headrest

There are many things that I want to accomplish.

That is not true.

I want to accomplish only a few things:

1. Lose 60-70 lbs.
2. Make a living as a writer.

Okay, so maybe that is only really two things that I want to accomplish.

Let me go back to my other goals and see what they say for 2017....

1. Wake up on time every day, and stay awake until bedtime
2. Earn more than $100,000 / year creatively
3. Exercise daily
4. Quit smoking
5. Lose 50 lbs
6. Maintain goal weight less than 200 lbs

I have reduced those goals to fewer than six before I even started on this however.

1. Wake up on time every day, and stay awake until bedtime

I am working on this one, but it is slow going, since I have sleep apnea, complex, central, and I need to get an Auto SV treatment in order to get a restful night's sleep. I hope to get this contraption by the end of October, and be sleeping well in November. That is the goal.

I have clarified the remaining six goals into something less....

2. Get healthy

a) exercise daily
b) quit smoking
c) lose 60-70 lbs
d) maintain goal weight less than 200lbs

3. Make a living as a writer.....

a) Can I do this?
b) Is this possible?
c) What would I write?
d) Do I have anything to share?

So, in summation, I really do have only two goals...

1. Get healthy
2. Make a living as a writer

That is my goal, and that is what I want to be doing.

Now, what am I thinking I will do for the rest of my time here?

What do I think that I will be doing here and now?

1. I want to get healthy
a) lose 60-70 lbs
b) stay smoke free
c) exercise daily
d) maintain goal weight less than 200 lbs

2. I want to make a living as a writer
a) sell books on Amazon.com and at local bookstores
b) give away the blog content (it's how I give back)

Now what am I thinking about?

What am I thinking about doing now?

What am I actually going to do?

I am spending some time writing, writing away.

Time to move on.

Four

I had been trying to write a post every day, and had been having some difficulty. Plus, I had been shortchanging the opportunity to create something new, and had been rehashing things that had been done before.

So I am calling it quits.

Not for good, and not even for long, but I am taking down the goal of writing a post per day. Instead my goal will be one per week, and if I don't get to that, oh well.

So, four things I want to leave you with as I head off to go for a long walk...

1. Be Yourself

Be you. You're the only one who can be.

So many times we have so many expectations of ourselves, from inside our own heads and outside our bodies. Expectations that make us feel that we can't just be ourselves.

I started this blog as a way to be more myself. I haven't achieved it fully yet, but I am well on my way. 

2. Dig Deep

You have a lot of depth. Spiritually, physically, emotionally and mentally. Dig deep. Learn more about yourself. Press and stress your perceived limitations.

Explore what you are learning about thoroughly. Follow the tangents that arise. Drink deep from the knowledge of what you are trying to learn.

Call upon your resources. Follow your instincts. Renegotiate your contracts with yourself when necessary.

Digging deep is not something I thought I would discover while working on this blog, but during the course of my life, and while writing, I have learned to dig deeper than I have before.

3. Express Yourself

Throw your being into the ring of life, and see what happens.

Create something that reflects who you are and what you believe.

Stand behind what you make, whether or not you agree with it the next day. Expression of your inner being is what we are looking for. We may not always get it right. Express yourself anyway.

I have learned that I need to learn. What I mean to say is, I have work to do in this area, in learning to express myself fully and completely in a way others can understand.

This blog is an expression of myself, as convoluted and nonsensical as I can be.

4. Share

It doesn't have to be online, it doesn't have to be social media, but sharing is an important aspect of being yourself, digging deep, and expressing yourself.

I am not really sure the ultimate goals of sharing, and maybe there really isn't a goal for yourself, it's more like a fulfillment for someone else.

Yes. That's it.

It's an opportunity to give. To give back, to give up, to give, period.

So share. 

Peace.

Lifelong Learning

Learning how to learn is the most valuable skill that we can acquire. Learning how to learn is something that once learned, can teach us for the rest of our lives.

Learn to learn. How do you learn?

First start with learning to read. If you can read, and read quickly and comprehend well what has been read, then you can teach yourself almost anything. For almost any skill, a book has already been written on how to do it, and most times there are multiple books on the subject.

If you can read these books and comprehend and apply their concepts, you will be able to learn how to do that skill.

But nothing can replace doing. Nothing can replace application.

You can have knowledge of how to fish, but until you actually go out to the stream and use the fishing rod, you will not be applying your knowledge, which constitutes learning.

I am dedicated to learning for the rest of my life.

I am dedicated to improving my base of knowledge, my ability to synthesize ideas, and the general improvement of my mind.

How will you teach yourself how to learn?

How will you continue to learn for the rest of your life?

What I Want Out of Life

I started this post a while ago, and it didn't quite seem like the time to post it just yet. Now is the time, I suppose.

This post states what I want out of life. 

First though, let me say that I already have a lot. 

I have a loving family, amazing kids, a wonderful wife, an amazing extended family, and generally speaking a whole lot of love. I have a great job, a career I can grow into, money to pay the bills, a wonderful home, and two cars that run like champs. 

I have more than I could ever ask for, to be honest. 

Maybe I don't need to write this post after all...

It's the season of Thanksgiving. I have a whole hell of a lot to be thankful for. 

Some of those things I am thankful for are listed above. Others are larger. Like the opportunity to wake up today. Others are smaller. Like the feeling I have when I take a deep breath of fresh air. And then there are all the things in between all the highlights and the low-lights of living life on this planet.

I am truly grateful for each moment I have the opportunity to be alive.

---

So, I am truly grateful for everything.

Being grateful doesn't mean I cannot strive for more.

I have decided a few things lately. I have started to define what it is that I want from my life, that I don't already have.

They are simple but large things, and there are only four.

1. I want to make a living from my creative activity.

2. I want to be physically fit and healthy. 

3. I want to be completely debt free.

4. I want to own a beach house.

Those are the four things that I want out of life, that I don't already have. If I never accomplished any of them, I would still lead a good and satisfying life. But why not go for the gold? Why not try and get that which I may be able to attain? Why not set goals and work toward them?

In coming up with reasons for why I should improve myself, I still have only one: because I can. 

The only reason that I want to improve myself is because I can.

Eventually, I will need to have a more passionate and energetic reason behind self-improvement. But for now, just that one reason will suffice.

What are the things that you are grateful for?

What are the things that you are striving for?

This is where it all began.

This is where I began to be myself.

Completely and totally myself. Without care or worry of repercussions.

I am interested in becoming myself completely. I am interested in being myself completely.

And the funny thing is, I am succeeding.

I just want to create, I just want to make something all my own, on my own, for no real reason other than I can, and I need to express myself.

So now I am writing this, and I am trying to summon the feeling of being inspired to create something new. The feeling is there, that is for sure.

Inspiration comes to those who don't wait for it.

So where am I heading? What is my end game result that I am looking for?

I can do almost anything. I have the ability. But the only thing I want to do is to make stuff and share it. That is what I want to do with my life. Make things and share them. By being myself, by sharing my essence with the world I am able to even more fully become myself.

It is all a matter of three ingredients: time, energy, and focus. I have plenty of all three, enough to make something magical happen in my life.

It is really just a matter of time until I achieve my goals. I know what I want and I am starting to make it happen. It may take a long time, in fact it may take forever, but I have forever to wait if necessary, to allow myself to be completely and totally myself in all situations and interactions.

I have to not be afraid. I have to be courageous.

It is an important step for me to know that being myself is acceptable. Being myself is okay. Being myself is desired. Being myself is the only way I will be able to learn and let the right things go, and hold on to those which I cherish.

I know what to do.

I know how to do it.

I know what to think and be.

Myself.

My own version of my own person.

But this is where it starts. This is the beginning.

This is where it all began.

Where did it start for you?

Where were you when you started to bloom?

Do you remember? Can you remember where and when it all began for you?

Who I Am and What I Am About

Inspired by a question I was recently asked to define myself, and by Mighty Oak Barbell's video, I have decided to delimit and describe who I am, and what I am about. The word delimit is used on purpose, because I have thought through most of my life, that by defining myself, I would be limiting any possibilities. Choosing one path prevents us from walking another. And so many times, I have not decided on a path to take, and yet, that is choosing a path as well. And who is to say we can't alter or change our direction once we have made a decision in life? It is a learning and growing process. This is...

Who I Am and What I Am About

My name is Dave Brey and I have lived for almost thirty-six years. I have seen, done, learned and forgotten millions of things. I have created new synapses and killed brain cells. I have formed new habits and held onto old ones. I have learned about myself and about others through trial and error, and through it all there has always been a pen, and there has always been paper.

There may have been computers and typewriters and keyboards and laptops and all sorts of writing technology, but even still, through it all there has been pen and paper. 

Pens I get from the dollar store. Most paper I get from Staples. 

So what meaning does the pen and paper give to my life?

Writing with pen and paper allows me to express myself. It allows me to jot down my thoughts and get better at thinking by creating a connection between the mental idea and the physical written words. So am I an author? I have written a book, so maybe I am. But certainly, I am a writer. I have twenty notebooks, a hundred and fifty blog posts and umpteen half-finished electronically written ideas and journal entries.

Do I get paid to write? I have been paid to write, and been paid by my writing, but I don't make a living at it. Even so, I am certain that I am a writer.

I am a reader. I like to read many things, though lately I am on a non-fiction kick. Reading helps to inform my way of thinking, expands my universe, and allows me to travel the world from the comfort of my home. I love to share what I am reading and have read with others, and to hear from them what they are reading also.

I also play guitar. I sing. I love to make music, by playing someone else's songs or creating my own. So, I am a musician. I am not as skilled as I would like to be, but I am light years ahead of where I started. I don't know the ins and outs of music theory or the fret board, but I am a musician. It is certain.

Do I make money from my musical endeavors? I do not, but I have in the past, and could potentially again in the future. But I don't make my living through music. However, that makes me no less of a musician.

I am passionate about reading, writing and playing music; reading books I find interesting or someone has recommended to me, writing thoughts, poems and prose, and covering or writing original music. That is what I do with all my free time.

So, who am I? I am a writer, a reader, and a musician.

What am I about? I am about learning on this journey of life. I am about developing my sense of self as I move through life. I am about trying to become a better and more well-rounded reader, writer, and musician. These are the things that I am about.

Now, what do I do? For a living? Something completely different. 

Ultimately, I would like to make what I am and what I am about what I do; to marry the three areas together is a lifetime goal of mine. And I am making progress. That is true. I am making progress. But it is slow going. So I will continue to do what I do in order to provide for my family, lifestyle, and for my passions. 

So, let's sum it all up again.

Who am I?

What am I about?

I am Dave Brey, a writer, reader and musician, passionate about creating writing and music that helps others through this journey of life.

That is who I am, and that is what I am about.

Live

Potential, the Future, Life, and the Art of Letting Go

I have been told during my life that I have a lot of potential.

In fact, most recently, a YouTuber told me I had "so much freaking potential."  I felt honored, and approved the comment even though it had landed in my spam box.

But what does it really mean to have potential?

How does it really impact your life to have potential?

For some reason, it reminds me of the black spot from Treasure Island, a summons to the grave.

Potential tries to define what MAY develop in the FUTURE.

However, I am trying to be concerned with what IS developing in the PRESENT.

When does potential become reality?

What does it take to make potential the actual reality?

How can we go beyond what is potentially identified and deliver something beyond what we thought possible?

What does the FUTURE hold? Who can possibly know? NO ONE.

I want to be able to completely think about the present, about what is going on right now, at this second, in this moment, and have it be the best it can possibly be.

I need to be attentive.

I need to be vigilant.

I need to be aware.

I need to focus.

I need to do so many things, but at the same time, I have to do nothing but live life, and let it be lived.

I need to be intense and relaxed at the same time. I have to do so many things.

What do I really have to do though? I have to merely be.

I have to merely allow myself to be and

enjoy and

share and

create.

So many things.

There isn't just one thing.

But there is just one thing.

LIFE.

I am enjoying life right now. I am letting the writing happen. I am enjoying the process of writing and relishing the idea of sharing it with the world. But that is the future.

I am a part of the present and the future at the same time.

Am I capable of letting go of the future, what may or may not be in store for me, and just live my life? Am I going to live in the present at this time right now, right here, as I work and live and breathe?

There is only one way for me to be myself completely, and that is to let it all hang out.

So if the potential and the future are all rolled into one thing, am I willing to give up that thing? Am I willing to give up what might be and live into what IS right now, at this very moment?

Am I willing to let my potential go, and just do the best that I can in all areas of my life?

Am I willing to reduce potential and the future to mere ideas and realize that right now, RIGHT NOW, is all I have to make anything different, whether past, present, or future.

RIGHT NOW, this MOMENT, this BREATH, THIS SECOND, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW

IS

the only time that I can

change

be myself

live fully

be truly alive

be one with the universe

breathe completely and fully

learn something new

remember something old

embrace the present

diminish the past

forget the future

and live

my

fucking

life

like

I

deserve

to.


Now is all we have...

Don't waste it...

Do not be afraid.

We are all here.

But we can only do it now.

And if you get lost, get fucking found again.

It's time.

The time is now.

Let's do this thing.

Embrace the present, forget potential, hope for the future, let go, and live into the now.

I am alive.

Can you feel it?

I can.

I can feel you too.

Beat your heart out.

Go make something wonderful.

And share it.

R
I
G
H
T

N
O
W

:)

What the World Looks Like in the Evening

The setting of the sun is an event that happens every day. It is something to look forward to, especially when at the beach, because the vista is so beautiful. Although the end of the day can be a bit of a downer, depending on how you look at it. Another day in the books. Another day of triumphs and failures. Another day closer to the end. But another day nonetheless. 

The sun in this picture is setting over the dunes to the west of the Atlantic ocean. 

I have been thinking about how I am going to create a post per day on here. I am not sure how I am going to do it other than just doing it. And that is probably enough. Just do it. Just write the posts. Care not what comes of them after they are written, just write them.

And so, I am just writing this.

The sun. The sunset. The experience of the end of the day. The time spent at the end of the day to reflect on the accomplishments of the day. The time to prepare for the next day. The time to enjoy the company of others in the evening. How well will things turn out in the end?

It is nearing the fall time of year, my most favorite season. I love the cool weather, and the ability to wear jeans and a t-shirt most days. I see the fall as a time of renewal, as many people see the spring. I don't know why I see the fall as the time of renewal as opposed to the spring. Probably because of school and second chances that have come along in my life during the fall season.

I spent the day yesterday making something for the basement, a stand of sorts, that I could place my computer on in the mornings in order to write these posts.

It is simple and crude, but nonetheless something that I am glad to have made. I now spend my mornings walking and creating something new to share with the world. That has been a good experience.

I have had reluctance in the past to share what I create. I will still have that reluctance, but I think it is important to share anyway, for what I am creating is what is important to me, and what is important to me is important to share.

So maybe I have reached the end of this post, and should send it on and continue tomorrow. Or maybe I have some other thing to mention before I go.

Ah yes, back to the setting of the sun....

"It's not dark yet, but it's getting there." - Bob Dylan

A Few Words of Encouragement (Or Lies I Should Have Convinced Myself Were True When I Started)

Save for future reference.

There is no one in the world like you. No one can make what you make. Though you may struggle and want to give up, you shouldn't. The only way past a hurdle is over it. Get up and jump.

You make your own way. The world does its own thing. Don't worry about it. What I mean is, don't pay any attention to what the world does. It doesn't concern you. You concern you. What you do all the time is what is important.

You are capable of anything, except what you won't try, or what you give up on. Try everything. Don't give up. Forge ahead as far as you can, then go a little further. You will be amazed at your ability to sustain and strengthen your resolve.

When its getting dark, light a torch. If you don't have a torch, light a candle. If you don't have a candle light a match. The light will guide you, but you have to shine the light. You have to be the one reaching out your arm with the light at the end of your fingertips, searching in the darkness for the path.

The road will rise up to meet you. You are on your own journey. You can't make a wrong turn. Just as it is impossible to get lost anymore, it is impossible to get lost anymore.

You already know the way to go. You already know where you want to be heading. Head in that direction. Become the person that you want to be.

There are no better ways to do what you are doing, because no one else is doing what you are doing. Don't search for a better way, just keep doing what you are doing. Just keeping making stuff and putting it out there.

There are no wrong answers, because there are no questions.

The only question that you have to ask yourself is... nothing. Don't ask questions of yourself, provide statements of fact. Get lost in the obvious.

Your audience is too big. Don't write for everyone. Write for one person. Write for one person, all the time. You can change the person you write for at any given time, but don't try to write for more than one person at a time. The audience is only ever one person at a time anyway.

There is no great time to blow up on the scene and infiltrate the world. There is only now. There will only ever be now. Allow now to be,  and be yourself now.

This is too cryptic, too vague. What I mean to say is, be yourself. You try so hard to be the person you think you should be, the person you think other people will like and react to. Just be yourself. Hang the rest out to dry.

What does it mean to be true to yourself? I feel like I want to say that, that you should be true to yourself, "to thine own self be true", but I think what I really want to say is.... Be yourself. Be who you are, foibles and problems and nonsense and all. Just let yourself be.

And when you let yourself be, share yourself. Others want to see people who are themselves, because that is who we all want to be. We don't want to be another person, we want to be most truly and fully ourselves. We want to be free to be ourselves all the time.

Keep creating. You may never ever get it right, but you need to keep doing it. What is right anyway? The rightest thing you can ever do at any time is to make something that is reflective of where you are in life.

Follow your dreams.

"Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake."
Henry David Thoreau

More than follow your dreams, live your dreams. Don't be like, "I can't live my dreams." Yes you fucking can. Just do it. Make your greatest dreams come true every minute of every day.

What do you want from life? Create it.

You can make anything. So make it already.

The best thing you can do is do.

You will give up before you even start. Know this about yourself, and then refuse to give up. Learn from your mistakes. Your mistakes are not the end. Learn from them and grow.

You are a beautiful person. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Stop comparing yourself to others. Others don't matter. You do. You matter.

And because you matter, what you make matters, so keep making it, through the hard times and the good.

Don't create for others, create for yourself. You are why you got into this business in the first place. Make yourself happy, not others. Lead by following your own example.


Stop thinking about everyone else.

Stop thinking about everyone else.

You are creating because you can connect yourself to another person through writing, but you can't connect yourself to everyone at the same time. There is no mind meld when it comes to reading and writing. Everyone is affected uniquely as they experience writing and what is written. Leave your baggage out of it.

If you derail, don't worry.

You'll get back on track.

Keep making somethings. Keep trying. Stay with it. Stick to it. Make it happen. If you don't, no one else will.

You don't have time to stop making things. You don't have time to second guess yourself.

If I told you twenty years ago you would be where you are now, you wouldn't believe me, that's why you don't know where you'll be twenty years from now, because you wouldn't believe it anyway.

It's okay to not know the answer.

Make something of your life. No one else will.

Might as well live the dreams you have already.

No matter your best intentions, things don't turn out like you expect. That's not positive or negative, it's just a fact, Jack. So roll with it. Expect the unexpected: you'll be surprised anyway.

If you give yourself enough time, you'll talk yourself out of everything. Don't talk yourself out of this.

Save yourself a little time at the end to polish. Not a lot of time, like 2% of the making time is all you need. It won't be perfect, but that's what makes it perfect.

And this is the most important lesson of the day: stay grateful. You can't be anything without thanksgiving. Thanks to those who came before you, thanks to those who inspire you, thanks to those who formed your dreams, thanks to those whose dreams rest upon you, thanks to those who love you the most, but mostly, and most sincerely, thanks to the source of it all.

Thank you.

My New Speed

I have reached a new, strange place in my life. I am no longer looking forward to anything. I am no longer interested in anything either. I have come to an almost complete standstill. And yet, I am still alive. I am still living and going through the motions of my life.

My mind is almost completely devoid of thought, and my body rarely takes action. I am floating in the ether of reality.

It is an interesting and new place to be.

It is always a new and interesting place to be. I am always growing and evolving and learning and expanding.

But right now, it merely seems that I am floating.

Free of tethers and all expectations.

Why am I this way?

I have slowed down considerably. I do things with a deliberateness that I used never to employ. I am careful. Not wary, but full of care.

Even my typing and writing have slowed considerably. I do not type at a mad man's speed anymore, I merely write the words as they come.

I enjoy listening to music. I enjoy creating music.

I have been trying to write a book for the last 35 years. I have been unsuccessful. I am either not ready yet to write my book, or not qualified to write any book. I have become accepting of both possible scenarios. Only time will tell which one is accurate.

So this is my new speed. Slow. Deliberate. Careful.

I don't understand all the factors that have contributed to my new style, and I don't really care to.

I don't really care to do anything.

This all sounds rather depressing, but I don't think that it is. It is just new, and it is just reality. Taking things at face value. Not applying any spin to anything.

How can the slowness of this pace, the glacial meandering and expanding of my life, be part of this rapidly changing and moving 21st century?

I am behind the times, but I left the times behind long ago.

I am at once ahead of, behind and with the steady growth and expansion of the universe.

Best to be with it.

Best to be part of it. Best to be enjoying myself.

Freedom of Expression

As an American, I have a unique and precious view of freedom and what it means to be free.

I can't take freedom for granted.

All the things that I think are broken or ruined about our country, all those things pale in comparison to the freedom that I have to express myself concerning those broken bits.

I have the freedom to live life the way I want to, on my own terms. And I am doing it now, I am expressing myself openly, I am finding a way to live into the life that I want for myself.

What am I going to do to exercise my freedom? What am I going to do to share the freedom that I have with others?

I am going to create. I am going to share. I am going to create and share and repeat again and again, because that is what I choose to do with my freedom.

What will you choose to do with your freedom? How will you express yourself?

I am here.

I am now.

I am free.

And so are you.

Express yourself.

The Rhythm of Life

There is a rhythm to everything in life. It is a matter of getting on the right vibration, getting into the right rhythm in order to let yourself sing. Because there are different vibrations for every action and reaction in the planet, and there is always something new to get into and get involved with.

Sometimes the rhythms are interrupted. Sometimes something comes and interrupts you, but the rhythm is still intact, is still working and running a beat.

Don’t be afraid to run out the rhythm of life, there is no end in sight, there is no end to it whatsoever, there is always another rhythm to pick up. There is always another end to tend to, there is always another line to follow, another song to play, another wind to catch.

The rhythm is there, we just have to tune into it. We just have to tune into the rhythm of the universe. The universe has its own rhythm and we can find it any time, anywhere. Tune into the rhythm of your own heartbeat. Tune into the rhythm of your soul. The two rhythms may not be the same, they may be different, but they have to be harmonized to some extent. The two rhythms of your heart and your soul need to be intertwined until they are two beats of the same rhythm, two beats in one body.

Do not worry about the carving out of the art into something better, which is a task for later, concern yourself only with getting into the rhythm of writing right now, the rhythm of creation, and allow the creation to just happen, naturally, with a beat, with a rhythm.

Nothing short of brilliance is guaranteed when you look at your life’s rhythm and try to tune into it, and let the rhythm naturally expand and grow from nothing into something. There is something glorious about working the rhythm, playing the beat.

Get over the issues, get moving toward the end and the beginning, because that is where we work toward the goal of life. What is the goal of life you ask, what are the things that make us go, that make us tick, that make us move along the path toward success and experience? What makes the world tick by? What makes the time pass?

It is the rhythm.

The rhythm of life is something to tap into, to be a part of, to understand and count as part of your own life.

The rhythm of life is a magical experience for all those involved in getting anywhere at any time. There is rhythm and experience in all of the world.

We write when we write.

We sing when we sing.

We work when we work.

We live when we live.

We love when we love.

We do all those things when it is time for those things to be done. We live all the ways of our life when it is time for our life to be lived. We learn that there is something wonderful in almost every single little bit of the sustenance of life. There is something that is born when we breathe.

There are so many, many things to be concerned with in the world, and it makes no difference which one you choose to be involved with as long as you go and go and go. It is an interesting line of work to be involved in, this living and living and living.

What the rhythm can show us is that interruptions happen. Enjoy them and move on.

Writing and Life

Writing has become a life line for me. It is something I do compulsively, something that helps me gather all of my thoughts together, and place them down in a straight line. Sure, the line dips and jags from time to time, but for the most part, my thoughts are straight when I write them.

By writing I am learning about myself. I am learning that I am interested in life and living much more than I previously thought. In the same way that writing is a life line, reading provides sustenance as well. The reading that I decide to do is all based on the interests that I have at the time.

I am intimidated to be writing my thoughts on this blog. But I have to be courageous and write anyway. I can write and write and write. But it goes nowhere if I don't share it. And so I am sharing it. I am sharing my writing, for better or for worse.

Writing is not the only thing I have to share. I also have art and music to share with others. It is a wonderful thing to share with others. It is a great thing to be involved with the world and be interested in something that is going on in the world.

My interest right now is taken up with the idea of sharing my writing. Writing something worth sharing, then sharing it. What does writing offer the rest of my life? Clarity. Writing brings clarity to my thoughts.

I get hung up on the possibility of sharing my writing, when really I should just be focused on the writing itself, and worry about the sharing later. That is what I will do now. Worry about the writing only. Back to my hermitage. Back to my place of safety to regroup, to write.

Write right now. Get a piece of paper out and begin writing. There is no end in sight, only miles and miles of blank page, which is yours to fill up. There is practice in there, there is a light in that tunnel, and it is shining for you, the writer.

Can writing capture life? I think writing can reflect life. And it is a pretty good mirror. There is much to be cleaned and polished in my writing, much that I have to change and enhance so that my mirror accurately reflects life, but it is something that I am willing and interested to do.

What will it take to polish my writing mirror? What will it take to polish it to a shining reflector that can pierce the darkness with its truth and might? What will it take?

It will take practice, discipline, energy and perseverance. It will take the exercise of fruitful creation combined with a ruthless eye for editing. There is only one way for me to create the circumstances for this to happen. I must just practice and write, there is no other way. If I decide to think about writing, nothing will get done. If I decide to reflect on what I have written, nothing will get done. The only way to move forward is to write the most worthless drivel imaginable on a regular basis, and hone the words down through practice, polishing as I go and making sense of the senseless on the way.

Sometimes I pause while writing and try to think of something pithy or resounding or astounding to say, but really, the only thing I need to do is write one more word. One. More. Word. One word at time, it all comes forth. One word at a time, the pearl necklace is strung. It takes a little bit of time, and a lot of energy and concentration, but the work afterwards stands for itself.

I have taken some time away from the blank page over the past few months. I have taken a break with the full knowledge that I was standing back in the shadows, unwilling to bring forth any work. I was unwilling because I thought it had to be something profound. I was wrong. I had forgotten what I started this endeavor for: to let my light shine. Not necessarily the best light I have to offer, or the light I think is the right light for the right time, but to just let it shine regardless, and let the rays fall where they may.

I started this blog to share my creative life with the world, and that is what I am doing. It grows in fits and starts, but it is growing. It takes time to build a masterpiece. I bet most masterpieces looked far from perfect before they were done. This isn't done yet. I am just getting started. It will take a long time to complete this project, but I am in it for the long haul.

I am dedicated to the idea of sharing my growth with the world. I am scared, but that is okay. Some risks are worth taking. I can't forget that I am an American original, and only I have the ability to share my unique experiences.

Writing takes time. Writing takes reflection, but not as much reflection as I have been affording myself lately. Writing takes reflection as it is being written, not before or after. I must mull the words over in my mind as I write them, not in the past or in the future. I am thinking in the present, and I am writing in the present.

The present is all I have. The present is my lifeline. Beyond writing and art and music and reflecting, all I have to offer is the present, and all I have to enjoy is in the present.

Be present.

Be here.

Be now.

Write.

It's my life and I'm going to write it down and share it. I hope you find it something to learn from and enjoy.

There is time between all the events in life to write and to create something that is worth the time taken to create. All creation is worth the time it takes to create. The market may not agree, but the universe does.

I write. I live. I burn with energy and desire to write and share. I am scared to share. I am afraid to publish this, but it is important to me to let others know that it is okay to face your fears. Choose your battles and face your fears. Be bold. Act. Take action. Move constantly in the direction of your dreams.

What are my dreams? To write and create art and music to share with the world all the days of my life. In that respect, today is a success. I can only hope tomorrow will be as well. But I can also do more than hope, I can set myself up for success. I can lead myself to take action in the direction I want to go and grow.

I can follow in the footsteps of others. I can learn from others who have gone before me. I can learn from others who are moving toward their dreams right now. I know of a few. This blog is published as an example of someone moving toward his dreams, and all the trials and successes along the way. Hopefully it can serve as an inspiration to one person somewhere, at some time.

Time is a funny thing. I am writing this in the present. You are reading this in the present. But our presents are different in clock time. Perhaps I will devise a way to publish live every letter I type and every word I rewrite at the time I am writing it. That could be entertaining. Would it serve a purpose? Does it matter?

Little by little I am getting there. Sometimes it takes more time than I thought it would. Other times I am just not applying myself.

Well, here is me applying myself now, and that is all I can ask for and do. Apply myself now. Right now. Write now.

Happiness: A Way of Life

We All Want to Be Happy

We all want to be happy. In one way or another, we all want to experience happiness and joy through all the events in our lives. Happiness is something we all want to experience. Happiness exists as something we all can experience, and we all can sustain happiness throughout our lives. Being happy and experiencing happiness is the way we all can reach our highest potential for ourselves and the universe.

What does happiness mean? Happiness means experiencing the state of being happy. What does it mean to be happy? To be happy means to show pleasure and contentment. To show it. Not just to experience it, but to show happiness as part of the way we live our lives. One way we can show happiness is to share the fact that we are happy with others.

Sharing gets back to the root for me, for in sharing the inner state we have, we are able to expand on its ability to create change in others. Are we out to change others? Are we out to expand our own horizons, and create happiness everywhere we go? Yes. We all want to be happy. Let's share it.

How to Be Happy

To be happy is more than just putting on a front of a positive attitude toward the experiences and tribulations of life. A positive outlook can and will contribute toward our happiness, but positivity alone cannot make you a happy person.

Happiness must come from within. Happiness is a state of mind. Not a physical state we can just enter into, but a mental state from which we can operate and enjoy life's pleasures and deal with life's troubles.

So how can you be happy? How do we get ourselves into this mental state of happiness? It sounds too simple to be true, but we just create it and enter into it. We decide to be happy, and we make it happen. It takes practice, but that is why we are given the gift of moment to moment living, in order to practice stepping into happiness.

Happiness is a state of mind. We are capable of entering that state of mind at any time. Unfortunately, we forget how simple the formula for happiness is (create happiness, and enter into it) and so start searching for things outside of ourselves in order to make us happy. But really, happiness is within each of us, and is a state of mind we can enter into at any time.

How to Create Happiness (in Others and Yourself)

Can we create a positive emotion or a state of consciousness in others? I think it is possible to encourage a different state of mind in others, but that the person must enter into that state of their own accord. However, by setting the stage for others to be happy, we make it easier for them to step over the threshold of happiness and experience the joy of being.

So how can we set the stage for others to be happy? 

Give

By giving. By giving ourselves to others.

Be Grateful

By being grateful. By being grateful for what others give to us.

Share

By sharing. By sharing what we have to offer with those we love and the world.

Through giving and sharing our own happiness and other positive emotions and experiences, and being grateful for the opportunity to share, give and receive from others, we are able to create more opportunity for happiness in others.

Reaching the Zen(ith) of Happiness (Or How to Smile)

So if happiness is a state of mind, we need to be able to enter that state at will, anytime we like, so that we can be happy at a moment's notice. Ideally we would maintain our happy outlook and demeanor at all times. This is difficult to do. As said before, it takes practice. But to practice it is just as easy as learning to ride a bike. Be happy. Repeat. Just be happy. There is so much that life has to offer all of us, so much that we can do, wouldn't you rather be happy doing it? There is so much opportunity in the world for us to experience happiness, because every single moment holds the secret to our happiness! We don't have to wait for anything to come to us, or until this or that is accomplished, we can choose to be happy now.

What will you choose?

Where will you go to learn more?

For starters, smile!

By smiling, you trick your mind into believing you are happy. A real smile creases the eyes, but a mouth only smile can get you started. Give it a try! Try it with those you love. Try your smile out in public, especially at this time of year.  

Look in the mirror and test out your smile. Then share it with others.

Don't worry. Be happy. Then share it with others.

101st Post: A Look to the Future

I have a few goals I would like to share.

One is to quit smoking forever.

Another goal is to reach 500 posts on this blog. No time frame set, just want to get there and say that I did it.

Yet another goal is to continue to pursue the creative life. Continue to create art, music and writing that is in line with my values, in order to create a bridge over which I can walk with my career.

Those are my goals. Three is enough right now. To put my goals more succinctly:

1. Quit smoking forever.
2. Reach 500 blog posts.
3. Pursue the creative life.

That is my look to the future. Goal oriented and to the point. Now let’s get back to the present…..

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That right there was going to be the entirety of my 101st blog post, but my good friend anticipated the title and the sequence I was going for, so I thought I would pull out all the stops, send this thing into the stratosphere and see what space looks like from the future.

Do I know where I am headed? Do I know what path I am on? I am on the path that I designed. Whether I know it or not, it has always been about me and my choices, never about anyone else and what they may or may not have done or said. I must own my life.

Do I like where I am headed? Do I like the path I am on? Again, I am on the path that I designed. If I don’t like it, I can change it.

Change is not easy. Change is something difficult to recognize in the moments that it is happening, but it is always happening. The “same thing” I did yesterday is different than the “same thing” I am doing today. I am another day older, the world has moved on by 24 hours. Time, emotion, crisis, adventure, something, anything has passed as well, and now it is different. The change is not necessarily apparent, but it is there.

I can proactively create change.

“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” - Ghandi

Create the change in your life. Create change, don’t just experience it. Become a part of change, become one with change and make it into a habit. Make changing synonymous with living. Become who you’ve always wanted to be. We can all become who we are, we can all become who we want to be.

By writing about all this change and making it into a habit, I am talking to myself. I am working myself up to change in the ways that I need and want to change. I need to quit smoking. I want to continue writing and creating. And to do those things, I need to change. I need to be different than I was today, I need to be better for tomorrow. I need to improve every ounce of my being, every single day, by my choices and through love. Through love is the only way I will be able to change. Love of myself and the world.

And I have so much love to give.

I have so much love to share with the world and with you.

I will start with loving myself. I will start with loving my family. Sharing myself with my family, and with all those around me. Opening up and sharing. Letting the love flow.

Love is a light. The light shining from the love that I'm sharing is brighter than a thousand candles. The love that you share is just as bright if not brighter. Imagine if we all shone our love as light. Love can shine us through the darkness, can get us to the other side of the tunnel, can lead the way through the forest of life to have us come out triumphant into the sunshine and breathe deeply the air of glory and wonder.

Will I shine my love? 

Will I share it with others? 

Will I? 

Will you?

“Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.” - Siddhartha Gautama Buddha

And so I want to share this happiness below. With any luck and a dedication to change on my part, the conclusion to the story will be coming in 2015. Much love and happiness to each and every one of you.

Candle 

    Among the ruins of community, within the desolate darkness that was the Light Upon the Hill, between the broken minds, uncertain actions, abused bodies and empty hearts, a Candle burns. His head held tall, lit with a golden flame, Candle walks down the dingy alley, cultural vomit attacking his nostrils, but not completely drowning the sweet paraffin scent he leaves behind. The darkness surrounding his flame dims the small light even further, diffusing it against the sooty walls, but still the light shines on.

    Candle walks and looks above the buildings to Great Hill where the Light of Elsewhere once was. He passes darkened windows, shades drawn against the blight, holding the monstrous nothing of Main Street back from tired eyes squeezed shut behind dirty windows. The shops are all closed, save the gas station and fast food restaurant; the oil and grease lubricating the Machine of Society. Remote franchises surrounding and devouring, hiding grubby hands behind aprons of incorporation, veiling the fact that single minds are behind every appalling action.

    A bar, neon light robotically alive with artificial energy, opens the maw of its doors spilling melted wax onto the sidewalk, laughing and hiccupping to a flameless joke. The molten wax cascades across the road, gurgling into the cold gutter to harden with dreamless sleep, only to return to melt again tomorrow.

    Candle walks, small lamp against the brilliant blackness surrounding his wane features. He thinks as he walks, colors flickering in the tip of his flame as thoughts and ideas shoot through his mind.

   

    Suddenly, a false and frightening darkness rips across the street, glancing pools of black where before small mirrors of moonlight shown off every car and puddle. Candle crouches low, pulling his trench coat up and over his flame, pushing himself tightly against the wall.

    The Snuffers should be days behind me! How could they have caught up so fast? The old woman in the forest.... I should have been more careful; they must not capture me before I find Argas!

    The searching darkness reaches out and fingers Candle's back, drawing lines of black against his trench coat and blending him and his covered flame deep into the grime of the alley wall. The Darklamp is unable to distinguish the silent burning of his wick. The Snuffers, satisfied that the alley is empty, move off down Main Street, shining their Darklamps into every corner and side street.

    Candle breathes soft and low, slowly uncovering his flame and takes a look behind him. He is alone in the alley. As he settles his hood back on his shoulders, a harsh voice rasps from a window above him.

    "Where did you get such a bright light?"

    Immediately, the Snuffers wheel around and tear back toward the alley, Darklamps bobbing. There is no time to cover his flame, and Candle prepares himself for attack. He has fought with his flame in a few battles, and goes through the preparation as if it were a small gesture of gratitude for the power his enemies allow him to unleash. His hands together inside his coat, Candle's wick glows blue-white, then a gold more brilliant than pure refined ore. The first Darklamp hits him. His flame stands out in stunning brilliance against the black from the alley and the Darklamp in the Snuffers hand.

    "Holy! Look out Lights, he's got Golden Flame!" but the unlucky Snuffer never finishes his outburst. Candle's flame bellows out, bolts of fire fly from his wick, incinerating the Snuffer where he stands. The other Snuffers enter the alley and are surrounded and melted by the awesome flame Candle unleashes against them.  

     Suddenly, all is darkness again, except for Candle’s wick, smoldering under a small blue flame. His body is singed and paraffin drips steadily from around his wick, but he lowers his head slowly and bends down to gather what he can of the wax on the alley stones.  

     “What the light was that?!” The raspy voice cries above him. “What are you?”

     Candle reaches up and cracks off the used wick, crispy and curled above his flame, folding it and forming it into a sharp point. He tosses it carelessly from hand to hand, then flings it sharply upward toward the window, smashing glass, silencing the raspy voice.  

    “Just a candle,” he murmurs, walking quickly out of the alley and down Main Street.