I have a few goals I would like to share.
One is to quit smoking forever.
Another goal is to reach 500 posts on this blog. No time frame set, just want to get there and say that I did it.
Yet another goal is to continue to pursue the creative life. Continue to create art, music and writing that is in line with my values, in order to create a bridge over which I can walk with my career.
Those are my goals. Three is enough right now. To put my goals more succinctly:
- Quit smoking forever.
- Reach 500 blog posts.
- Pursue the creative life.
That is my look to the future. Goal oriented and to the point. Now let’s get back to the present…..
That right there was going to be the entirety of my 101st blog post, but my good friend anticipated the title and the sequence I was going for, so I thought I would pull out all the stops, send this thing into the stratosphere and see what space looks like from the future.
Do I know where I am headed? Do I know what path I am on? I am on the path that I designed. Whether I know it or not, it has always been about me and my choices, never about anyone else and what they may or may not have done or said. I must own my life.
Do I like where I am headed? Do I like the path I am on? Again, I am on the path that I designed. If I don’t like it, I can change it.
Change is not easy. Change is something difficult to recognize in the moments that it is happening, but it is always happening. The “same thing” I did yesterday is different than the “same thing” I am doing today. I am another day older, the world has moved on by 24 hours. Time, emotion, crisis, adventure, something, anything has passed as well, and now it is different. The change is not necessarily apparent, but it is there.
I can proactively create change.
“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” - Ghandi
Create the change in your life. Create change, don’t just experience it. Become a part of change, become one with change and make it into a habit. Make changing synonymous with living. Become who you’ve always wanted to be. We can all become who we are, we can all become who we want to be.
By writing about all this change and making it into a habit, I am talking to myself. I am working myself up to change in the ways that I need and want to change. I need to quit smoking. I want to continue writing and creating. And to do those things, I need to change. I need to be different than I was today, I need to be better for tomorrow. I need to improve every ounce of my being, every single day, by my choices and through love. Through love is the only way I will be able to change. Love of myself and the world.
And I have so much love to give.
I have so much love to share with the world and with you.
I will start with loving myself. I will start with loving my family. Sharing myself with my family, and with all those around me. Opening up and sharing. Letting the love flow.
Love is a light. The light shining from the love that I'm sharing is brighter than a thousand candles. The love that you share is just as bright if not brighter. Imagine if we all shone our love as light. Love can shine us through the darkness, can get us to the other side of the tunnel, can lead the way through the forest of life to have us come out triumphant into the sunshine and breathe deeply the air of glory and wonder.
Will I shine my love?
Will I share it with others?
Will I?
Will you?
Will I share it with others?
Will I?
Will you?
“Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.” - Siddhartha Gautama Buddha
And so I want to share this happiness below. With any luck and a dedication to change on my part, the conclusion to the story will be coming in 2015. Much love and happiness to each and every one of you.
Candle
Among the ruins of community, within the desolate darkness that was the Light Upon the Hill, between the broken minds, uncertain actions, abused bodies and empty hearts, a Candle burns. His head held tall, lit with a golden flame, Candle walks down the dingy alley, cultural vomit attacking his nostrils, but not completely drowning the sweet paraffin scent he leaves behind. The darkness surrounding his flame dims the small light even further, diffusing it against the sooty walls, but still the light shines on.
Candle walks and looks above the buildings to Great Hill where the Light of Elsewhere once was. He passes darkened windows, shades drawn against the blight, holding the monstrous nothing of Main Street back from tired eyes squeezed shut behind dirty windows. The shops are all closed, save the gas station and fast food restaurant; the oil and grease lubricating the Machine of Society. Remote franchises surrounding and devouring, hiding grubby hands behind aprons of incorporation, veiling the fact that single minds are behind every appalling action.
A bar, neon light robotically alive with artificial energy, opens the maw of its doors spilling melted wax onto the sidewalk, laughing and hiccupping to a flameless joke. The molten wax cascades across the road, gurgling into the cold gutter to harden with dreamless sleep, only to return to melt again tomorrow.
Candle walks, small lamp against the brilliant blackness surrounding his wane features. He thinks as he walks, colors flickering in the tip of his flame as thoughts and ideas shoot through his mind.
Suddenly, a false and frightening darkness rips across the street, glancing pools of black where before small mirrors of moonlight shown off every car and puddle. Candle crouches low, pulling his trench coat up and over his flame, pushing himself tightly against the wall.
The Snuffers should be days behind me! How could they have caught up so fast? The old woman in the forest.... I should have been more careful; they must not capture me before I find Argas!
The searching darkness reaches out and fingers Candle's back, drawing lines of black against his trench coat and blending him and his covered flame deep into the grime of the alley wall. The Darklamp is unable to distinguish the silent burning of his wick. The Snuffers, satisfied that the alley is empty, move off down Main Street, shining their Darklamps into every corner and side street.
Candle breathes soft and low, slowly uncovering his flame and takes a look behind him. He is alone in the alley. As he settles his hood back on his shoulders, a harsh voice rasps from a window above him.
"Where did you get such a bright light?"
Immediately, the Snuffers wheel around and tear back toward the alley, Darklamps bobbing. There is no time to cover his flame, and Candle prepares himself for attack. He has fought with his flame in a few battles, and goes through the preparation as if it were a small gesture of gratitude for the power his enemies allow him to unleash. His hands together inside his coat, Candle's wick glows blue-white, then a gold more brilliant than pure refined ore. The first Darklamp hits him. His flame stands out in stunning brilliance against the black from the alley and the Darklamp in the Snuffers hand.
"Holy! Look out Lights, he's got Golden Flame!" but the unlucky Snuffer never finishes his outburst. Candle's flame bellows out, bolts of fire fly from his wick, incinerating the Snuffer where he stands. The other Snuffers enter the alley and are surrounded and melted by the awesome flame Candle unleashes against them.
Suddenly, all is darkness again, except for Candle’s wick, smoldering under a small blue flame. His body is singed and paraffin drips steadily from around his wick, but he lowers his head slowly and bends down to gather what he can of the wax on the alley stones.
“What the light was that?!” The raspy voice cries above him. “What are you?”
Candle reaches up and cracks off the used wick, crispy and curled above his flame, folding it and forming it into a sharp point. He tosses it carelessly from hand to hand, then flings it sharply upward toward the window, smashing glass, silencing the raspy voice.
“Just a candle,” he murmurs, walking quickly out of the alley and down Main Street.
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