Push Ahead

Surge ahead. Push forward. Make something happen.

To do that I am going to write. And I am going to write something that may not go anywhere or have much meaning, but what I am going to do is push ahead to make something happen.

I have to push and push because something doesn't just happen out of nowhere, it means that I have to forge ahead and push on and on and on. I don't think that I can do it very well, but maybe I can. I can.

And so I will push and push. There is something to be said for pushing ahead. Something to be said for forging ahead when there seems to be no path in the way or the direction which I am heading. I see my goal, and so I push forward toward it.

I push. I move forward. I push and move forward. I take the time it takes to actually do something, this writing for instance. I am taking the time, but I am really taking it by the horns and making something happen.

Just by writing I am making something wonderful happen. It doesn't seem to be wonderful, but only time will tell for sure what is wonderful and what isn't. So I need to just forge ahead again and make myself a model of what I want to be.

What I want to be is a writer, a blogger, a contributor, a content creator. I can only do that by actually writing, blogging, contributing, creating content. That is what it takes to do what I want to do.

All this nonsense writing only gets me somewhere, and it takes time away from the positive writing that I could be doing, but that really isn't true, because what I am doing right now is positive writing. I can only get to the positive writing by getting rid of the nonsense. I have found that I can't really avoid the nonsense. I can't edit it out before hand or I will get nowhere. If I try to self-censor as I am going, I get nowhere, so it is better to just lay it all out there on the page and worry about editing out the shit parts later.

Tell the story.

I don't think I have a story to tell. But that is nonsense, I have a hell of a story to tell, I just need to tell it.

I have a spreadsheet started of ideas for writing an actual book, an actual novel, and how I could actually attempt to tackle that monumental task.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Just make it happen, go forward one bite at a time and make something happen little by little. There is so much to do, that sometimes I can't see the steps in front of me because I am looking up toward the top of Mt. Everest, instead of just focusing on the few feet of ground I have to cover in the next moment.

I just need to keep my head down and plug away. That is sort of what this writing is for. It is for writing practice, it is for starting something and ending something daily, and realizing that it can all add up to more than what I had imagined at the beginning.

Sometimes my perfectionism kills me though. I fear that what happens in reality will never be as good as what I have worked out in my mind, and so I don't try to make reality match my imagination. I don't try to forge ahead and make my own path and make something actually happen in reality, instead I stay in my brain, in my thoughts, and let things happen that way, which is to say that nothing happens.

Again, forge ahead, push ahead, make something happen. Push and push and make something out of nothing. There is always nothing, but there is not always something. So move ahead and make something of myself, make something of my surroundings. There is so much to be gained by living and working and making something happen. I only have to do it. And so I am writing furiously toward that end right now. I am writing as fast as my fingers can move in order to write something that has meaning and ability and shines some light on the human predicament.

What all that means I don't necessarily know. What I mean to say is, that I start to write, and by continuing to write and continuing to forge ahead, I am getting there. I am getting where? Where I want to go, where I need to get to.