Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving. Giving thanks.

Thank you to my family for unending love and support.

Thank you to my father for teaching me how to sing.

Thank you to my mother for teaching me how to learn.

Thank you to my brothers for teaching me the meaning of brotherly love.

Thank you to my mother-in-law for picking me up when I was at my lowest point.

Thank you to my wife for loving me and growing old with me.

Thank you to my children for allowing me to raise them the best I can.

Thank you to the air for letting me breathe you.

Thank you to the land for allowing me to walk and travel upon you.

Thank you to my company for employing me and allowing me to house, clothe and feed my family.

Thank you to the sun for shining on me.

Thank you to the birds for singing their songs.

Thank you to the sky for being so unendingly large.

Thank you to the moon for allowing me to gaze upon you in wonder.

Thank you to the stars for making the night sky sing.

Thank you to the water for allowing me to drink my fill of you.

Thank you to the squirrels who eat my pumpkins, entertain me and make me laugh.

Thank you to my house for keeping me safe and warm.

Thank you to the churches for feeding the hungry.

Thank you to the laborers for working hard into the night.

Thank you to the tradesmen and women for building and making the things and services I use without thought.

Thank you to nature for being so beautifully complex.

Thank you to the flowers for being so simply beautiful.

Thank you to the artists for leading the way.

Thank you to the internet for bringing so many of us together in one place.

Thank you to books for all your knowledge and adventures.

Thank you to America for giving me freedom.

Thank you to the world for giving me life.

Thank you to the night for all your dark and mysterious pleasures.

Thank you to the day for all that you have in store.

Thank you to the food I eat for nourishment and energy.

Thank you to the friends I have for growing and laughing along with me.

Thank you to the universe for all you have shown me.

Thank you to life for embracing me and letting me live.

Thank you for being yourself.

Thank you.

101st Post: A Look to the Future

I have a few goals I would like to share.

One is to quit smoking forever.

Another goal is to reach 500 posts on this blog. No time frame set, just want to get there and say that I did it.

Yet another goal is to continue to pursue the creative life. Continue to create art, music and writing that is in line with my values, in order to create a bridge over which I can walk with my career.

Those are my goals. Three is enough right now. To put my goals more succinctly:

1. Quit smoking forever.
2. Reach 500 blog posts.
3. Pursue the creative life.

That is my look to the future. Goal oriented and to the point. Now let’s get back to the present…..

---

That right there was going to be the entirety of my 101st blog post, but my good friend anticipated the title and the sequence I was going for, so I thought I would pull out all the stops, send this thing into the stratosphere and see what space looks like from the future.

Do I know where I am headed? Do I know what path I am on? I am on the path that I designed. Whether I know it or not, it has always been about me and my choices, never about anyone else and what they may or may not have done or said. I must own my life.

Do I like where I am headed? Do I like the path I am on? Again, I am on the path that I designed. If I don’t like it, I can change it.

Change is not easy. Change is something difficult to recognize in the moments that it is happening, but it is always happening. The “same thing” I did yesterday is different than the “same thing” I am doing today. I am another day older, the world has moved on by 24 hours. Time, emotion, crisis, adventure, something, anything has passed as well, and now it is different. The change is not necessarily apparent, but it is there.

I can proactively create change.

“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” - Ghandi

Create the change in your life. Create change, don’t just experience it. Become a part of change, become one with change and make it into a habit. Make changing synonymous with living. Become who you’ve always wanted to be. We can all become who we are, we can all become who we want to be.

By writing about all this change and making it into a habit, I am talking to myself. I am working myself up to change in the ways that I need and want to change. I need to quit smoking. I want to continue writing and creating. And to do those things, I need to change. I need to be different than I was today, I need to be better for tomorrow. I need to improve every ounce of my being, every single day, by my choices and through love. Through love is the only way I will be able to change. Love of myself and the world.

And I have so much love to give.

I have so much love to share with the world and with you.

I will start with loving myself. I will start with loving my family. Sharing myself with my family, and with all those around me. Opening up and sharing. Letting the love flow.

Love is a light. The light shining from the love that I'm sharing is brighter than a thousand candles. The love that you share is just as bright if not brighter. Imagine if we all shone our love as light. Love can shine us through the darkness, can get us to the other side of the tunnel, can lead the way through the forest of life to have us come out triumphant into the sunshine and breathe deeply the air of glory and wonder.

Will I shine my love? 

Will I share it with others? 

Will I? 

Will you?

“Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.” - Siddhartha Gautama Buddha

And so I want to share this happiness below. With any luck and a dedication to change on my part, the conclusion to the story will be coming in 2015. Much love and happiness to each and every one of you.

Candle 

    Among the ruins of community, within the desolate darkness that was the Light Upon the Hill, between the broken minds, uncertain actions, abused bodies and empty hearts, a Candle burns. His head held tall, lit with a golden flame, Candle walks down the dingy alley, cultural vomit attacking his nostrils, but not completely drowning the sweet paraffin scent he leaves behind. The darkness surrounding his flame dims the small light even further, diffusing it against the sooty walls, but still the light shines on.

    Candle walks and looks above the buildings to Great Hill where the Light of Elsewhere once was. He passes darkened windows, shades drawn against the blight, holding the monstrous nothing of Main Street back from tired eyes squeezed shut behind dirty windows. The shops are all closed, save the gas station and fast food restaurant; the oil and grease lubricating the Machine of Society. Remote franchises surrounding and devouring, hiding grubby hands behind aprons of incorporation, veiling the fact that single minds are behind every appalling action.

    A bar, neon light robotically alive with artificial energy, opens the maw of its doors spilling melted wax onto the sidewalk, laughing and hiccupping to a flameless joke. The molten wax cascades across the road, gurgling into the cold gutter to harden with dreamless sleep, only to return to melt again tomorrow.

    Candle walks, small lamp against the brilliant blackness surrounding his wane features. He thinks as he walks, colors flickering in the tip of his flame as thoughts and ideas shoot through his mind.

   

    Suddenly, a false and frightening darkness rips across the street, glancing pools of black where before small mirrors of moonlight shown off every car and puddle. Candle crouches low, pulling his trench coat up and over his flame, pushing himself tightly against the wall.

    The Snuffers should be days behind me! How could they have caught up so fast? The old woman in the forest.... I should have been more careful; they must not capture me before I find Argas!

    The searching darkness reaches out and fingers Candle's back, drawing lines of black against his trench coat and blending him and his covered flame deep into the grime of the alley wall. The Darklamp is unable to distinguish the silent burning of his wick. The Snuffers, satisfied that the alley is empty, move off down Main Street, shining their Darklamps into every corner and side street.

    Candle breathes soft and low, slowly uncovering his flame and takes a look behind him. He is alone in the alley. As he settles his hood back on his shoulders, a harsh voice rasps from a window above him.

    "Where did you get such a bright light?"

    Immediately, the Snuffers wheel around and tear back toward the alley, Darklamps bobbing. There is no time to cover his flame, and Candle prepares himself for attack. He has fought with his flame in a few battles, and goes through the preparation as if it were a small gesture of gratitude for the power his enemies allow him to unleash. His hands together inside his coat, Candle's wick glows blue-white, then a gold more brilliant than pure refined ore. The first Darklamp hits him. His flame stands out in stunning brilliance against the black from the alley and the Darklamp in the Snuffers hand.

    "Holy! Look out Lights, he's got Golden Flame!" but the unlucky Snuffer never finishes his outburst. Candle's flame bellows out, bolts of fire fly from his wick, incinerating the Snuffer where he stands. The other Snuffers enter the alley and are surrounded and melted by the awesome flame Candle unleashes against them.  

     Suddenly, all is darkness again, except for Candle’s wick, smoldering under a small blue flame. His body is singed and paraffin drips steadily from around his wick, but he lowers his head slowly and bends down to gather what he can of the wax on the alley stones.  

     “What the light was that?!” The raspy voice cries above him. “What are you?”

     Candle reaches up and cracks off the used wick, crispy and curled above his flame, folding it and forming it into a sharp point. He tosses it carelessly from hand to hand, then flings it sharply upward toward the window, smashing glass, silencing the raspy voice.  

    “Just a candle,” he murmurs, walking quickly out of the alley and down Main Street.  

100th Post: A View of the Present

All these thoughts are new. There is nothing old on here. Maybe I should go back to my notebooks and find something interesting to post. Maybe I should just forge ahead regardless of what has happened in the past. I think the latter option is better, but for my 99th post, I think I will stop and reflect.

Right now though, I am working on the 100th post, so let’s deal with the present. Let’s say #99 is for past, #100 is for present, and #101 is for future. That will cover all the time options at least.

The present is the most powerful time to accomplish anything. Nothing can be accomplished in the past or future, it all has to happen in the present. Everything else is just a dream. The present is the reality, where things are accomplished and worked on. Everything must be started, worked on and finished in the present only. 

There is a way to move forward in all things and scenarios. That way is through the present.

There are lots of thoughts that clutter my mind, and the vast majority of them are on the past or in the future, instead of just being in the present. When I am in the present and I am writing I am on. I am switched on like a light and burn like a 100 watt bulb until the writing is finished.

Is it me who switches me on to write like that? I don’t think so, I think it has to do with being completely in the present and surrounding myself with the tools necessary to complete the writing the way it is intended to be completed.

The present offers so many possibilities. There is a way forward in all things. There is an opportunity in every case. Take the opportunity. Take the time. There is always enough time. The present knows no bounds. There is always the present, it is our constant companion. We are always with the present and the present is always inside of us.

What do we do when we look outside the present? We falter. There is no strength in the past, no grounding in the future. It is all now. It is all right now, and only now.

Here we are, me having already written this, and you reading this in the very present tense. You are in the present. Every word you take in is happening right now. And to me, that is the power of writing. It takes my present to write it, then later, takes the past and throws it into someone else’s present. We can’t get to the future (yet), but we can interact in the present and through the past. By you reading this, our memories are linked. We may not know each other at all, but we are connected.

In the present, my present, as I am writing this, I am thinking about possibility. I am thinking about opportunity. By writing I am learning the opportunity that I have in life is to share what I create with others. By sharing I am able to connect. And by connecting I am able to grow.

Growth is the purpose of life. We grow continually from the time we are born until we die. There is no stopping it. It just happens naturally. It is an amazing process. And the wonderful thing is, as we get older, we are able to direct and decide our own growth. Our parents helped us grow when we didn’t know any better, but as we got older, we made decisions for ourselves, and grew in the direction that we wanted to go in. And so it will continue for the rest of our lives.

I am growing in the direction of creating more and more, as often as possible. The more I create, the more I grow. The more I write, the better I get. The better I get at writing, the better I get at communicating. And by communicating better, I increase my interaction with others.

In the present is where I am right now as I write this. That is obvious because my fingers are typing out the letters as I watch. But in reality, I am present as I am writing this as well. I am thinking only of the current task, only of writing a post and sharing it with others. In fact, I am not worried about sharing it yet, I am only concerned with writing it. My thoughts continually drift to sharing it in the future, or reflecting on my notebooks for the last post, but I am still able to bring my attention back to the present, and creating this post first.

Create one thing at a time. Move forward one step at a time. Find focus and energy, and make a mark on the universe. It won’t be forgotten.

99th Post: A Look to the Past

For my 99th post, I thought I would dredge some things up from the past, from over 10 years ago....

A pencil rendering for a painting I later sold on eBay for $0.99.

And a little ramble from my oldest journal......

“Let me tell you a story about getting older. Kind of sometimes getting wiser, but really only learning from the process of acquiring years and packing them into a belly that hangs desperately over my belt.

I suppose to talk about getting old it must be assumed that one was once young, and I was a long time ago. I was an 18 year old boy. I could argue that I was a man in many respects, but I won’t. I was a boy and in many ways I could probably argue that I still am, but I won’t. I’ll just say that nothing turns a boy into a man, back into a boy better than aging.

It isn’t a pretty sight. Time takes on a whole new meaning when you get older. It’s never “Oh look at the time, where did it go?” I always think “Man! It’s so early!” And I’ll continue to think that way until one morning when I wake up and start thinking the other way.

I’ve got to keep looking at time as a forward motion. Once you pause and look back, you’re a goner. I’m not talking about the bend and smell the flowers pause either. I’m talking twist your head around and look down that long hill of life you’ve climbed and realizing there’s a mountain in front of you that you’re never going to finish climbing.

I’m talking taking a look in the rearview and instead of your buddy following you to the bar, there’s three cop cars with their sirens screaming.

So I pulled over. Great. I’ve got bills stacked up, I don’t have cash to pay for a ticket.

You know, the same stuff that runs through everyone when they get caught doing 40 in a 25.

I reached for my registration. I keep it in the glove box with a boatload of Taco Bell napkins and a backup supply of air fresheners. I’m always concerned with how my car smells, but usually only when someone is riding with me, which isn’t often.”

Be Kind

Be kind.

We are all in this together.

There is no reason to rush around and go wild with worry in order to accomplish the day's tasks. There is plenty of time. Just wait, it won’t be long.

We have an opportunity at every moment to decide how our lives will be lived. We have the ability to choose at every second whether to be kind and carry on forward or to be blunt and abusive in our dealings with others.

Which will you choose? At every moment that is presented to you, what will you decide? It is not just one decision that makes up our lives. It is the small, quiet decisions that we make every second that influence our general course in life. We are making these decisions every single second.

And at every single turn we are presented with the option of how we will carry out our decisions. Will we complete our goals with kindness toward others and ourselves, or will we complete our goals by any means necessary?

Be compassionate. Be loving. Be caring. Be kind.